High Heels, Dysphoria, and Euphoria: How Femme Fashion Empowers Transfeminine People
For many, high heels are symbols of style, sex appeal, or even societal pressure. But for countless trans women and transfeminine people, they can also be something else entirely: a tool of survival, a spark of euphoria, a way to say, “This is who I am.”
In queer and trans communities, fashion is never just fashion; it's a form of expression. It’s resistance, refuge, and a rite of passage. From the thrill of slipping into a new silhouette to the quiet validation of being seen as we truly are, clothing helps shape the way gender feels, not just how it looks. And while feminist thinkers have long critiqued heels for embodying the male gaze, they also carry subversive power. For many trans women, they offer an entry point into a gendered world that often tries to shut them out.
This post explores how high heels can combat gender dysphoria, affirm gender identity, and create moments of shared experience and empowerment. From theory to lived reality, we’re stepping into a conversation that’s as complex and powerful as the heels themselves.
Dysphoria, Euphoria, and Gendered Expression
Gender dysphoria is a deeply felt dissonance between how we’re seen and who we are. For many trans women and transfeminine people, that dissonance can be shaped by how others respond to our voices, our names, our pronouns, but also by how we dress.
Clothing is one of the most immediate ways we express our gender identity. And when that expression resonates, when the mirror reflects something that feels right, it can offer profound relief from dysphoria. That relief has a name too: gender euphoria.
High heels, with all their complicated symbolism, can be a source of that euphoria. They don’t just elevate the body; they shift posture, gait, and energy. They create an embodied sense of femininity that feels right for many trans women, even in a world that often doesn’t. It’s not just about looking feminine. It’s about feeling it—feeling powerful, affirmed, sexy, seen.
Of course, not all trans people connect with femme fashion, and not all femmes wear heels. But for those who do, the act of dressing in alignment with your gender identity can be a transformative experience, especially when the world tells you that you shouldn’t.
Embodying Femininity: When Fashion Feels Like Truth
High heels aren’t just aesthetic; they’re sensory. They reshape how the body moves, how space is occupied, and how the world responds. But more importantly, they change how the wearer feels in their body.
For many trans women, putting on heels is more than a style choice but an act of alignment between the internal self and the external world. Drawing from phenomenology (the study of lived experience), this feeling happens not first in the mind, but in the body. You don’t think your way into feeling feminine. You move differently, you stand differently, and through that, something inside settles.
That’s gender euphoria: not just being seen as yourself, but feeling like yourself.
Anthropologist Michael Jackson argued that experience is embodied before it is intellectualised. In queer and trans lives, that idea assumes a radical significance. The simple act of walking down the street in heels can become a statement, a breakthrough, a quiet moment of peace. Heels may not be practical, but for some of us, they’re powerful.
And that power is only heightened in a society that often polices gender expression. When you’re told you shouldn’t exist as you are, every deliberate gesture—every step in heels—is both defiant and freeing.
Passing, Performativity, and the Politics of Safety
Let’s talk about passing. It’s a word that carries weight in trans communities; sometimes affirming, sometimes controversial. For many trans women, “passing” as a cis woman isn’t about deception. It’s about survival.
Sociologist Erving Goffman described passing as a performance, an act of managing how others perceive you to navigate social spaces safely and effectively. When trans women wear heels, makeup, or other markers of traditional femininity, it’s often not about fitting in for the sake of conformity. It’s about being read correctly. It’s about being treated with dignity.
In this context, heels become tools of negotiation. They help create a “social character” that aligns with how the wearer wants (and needs) to be seen. This isn’t performative in a fake or inauthentic way—it’s a survival strategy and an expression of identity as a form of resistance. As trans sociologist Catherine Connell puts it, many trans people aren’t just “doing gender”—they’re redoing it on their terms.
The reality is harsh: in a cisnormative world, looking the part can mean the difference between affirmation and humiliation, between safety and violence. High heels might not fix the system, but they can offer momentary protection—and sometimes, that moment is all that matters.
Femme Pain, Shared Power: High Heels as Queer Communion
It’s no secret: heels can hurt. Blisters, sore calves, precarious balance; they’re not exactly built for comfort. But within that pain lies something strangely powerful: a shared experience. One that connects women, cis and trans, and femmes across identities.
For many trans women, stepping into heels is also stepping into a space of cultural and social belonging. Complaining about sore feet. Swapping heel hacks. Laughing through the discomfort. These are the small, everyday rituals that signal: you’re one of us.
Some anthropologists have explored how high heels are more than just a fashion statement—they act as a kind of social glue. Wearing them creates shared experiences that foster empathy, bonding, and even solidarity, especially among femmes. Heels can become a kind of unspoken passcode, a way to be seen and acknowledged as part of the group. Heels offer a seat at the table—"a chance to sit down with fellow sufferers" and be recognised within the shared performance of femininity.
For transfeminine folks, that recognition can be life-changing. It can reduce the sting of dysphoria. It can bring euphoria through inclusion. It can feel like finally arriving somewhere you were always meant to be.
But we also need to name the complexity. That inclusion often comes at a price shaped by cisnormative expectations. Trans women may feel pressure to present hyper-femme to be seen as “valid.” The same norms that exclude gender-nonconforming people push others to conform just to be respected.
Still, many trans women reclaim heels on their terms, not as submission to the male gaze, but as a conscious choice—a symbol of visibility, joy, and connection.
Empowerment, Not Expectation: Reclaiming Femme Fashion on Our Terms
Empowerment is complex. It isn’t just about confidence—it’s about autonomy. About choosing how we show up, even when the world tries to decide for us.
For many trans women, high heels are a tool of that empowerment. Not because they conform to society’s ideals, but because they offer something else: gender euphoria, visibility, and entry into femme spaces. When chosen freely, heels can be a statement of self-possession. A way to say: I am who I say I am. I take up space on my terms.
But we also need to hold space for contradiction. Heels are not universally empowering. They’ve been used to sexualise, to objectify, to exclude. And trans women, like all femmes, deserve to feel whole without needing to perform for acceptance.
That’s why this conversation matters—not just for trans women, but for all marginalised genders. Non-binary folks. Intersex people. Genderqueer and gender-expansive femmes. As heels return to fashion through androgynous and gender-fluid lenses, there’s power in asking: Who gets to wear them without question? Who gets excluded? And how can we reimagine fashion as a symbol of freedom, rather than constraint?
At Enby Meaning, we believe in reclaiming expression. We believe euphoria is worth pursuing—even when it comes with blisters. And we believe femme fashion when chosen and cherished, can be a form of queer resilience.
So whether you wear heels every day, once a year, or never at all—what matters most is this: you belong in your body, just as you are.
Join the Conversation
How does fashion affirm your identity?
What gives you gender euphoria?
Tag us @enbymeaning or submit your story. Let’s keep uplifting each other—one step at a time.
