Non-Binary vs Gender Nonconforming: Understanding the Difference
In the evolving language of gender identity and expression, terms like non-binary and gender nonconforming are sometimes used interchangeably, but they actually mean different things. If you’ve ever wondered what the difference between gender nonconforming and nonbinary is, you’re not alone.
This post will clearly break down the difference between non-binary and gender-nonconforming in plain language, with examples and answers to common questions.
Both non-binary and gender nonconforming are essential concepts in conversations about gender diversity, but they refer to different aspects of a person's identity. Simply put, non-binary refers to a person’s gender identity – who they are. Gender nonconforming refers to a person’s gender expression – how they present themselves to the world. Understanding this distinction can help you respect people’s identities and expressions more accurately.
Let’s explore each term, compare them side by side, and then address some frequently asked questions.
What Does “Non-Binary” Mean?
A non-binary person is someone whose gender identity is not exclusively male or female. In other words, they identify outside the traditional male/female gender binary. Non-binary (sometimes spelt nonbinary) is an umbrella term that can include many specific identities. For example, some non-binary people might also describe themselves as genderqueer, agender, bigender, or use other terms. Still, all share the common experience of not fitting neatly into “male” or “female” categories. Being non-binary means their gender exists beyond just man or woman.
Non-binary individuals may feel like both genders, neither, or a mix that can even change over time. Every non-binary person’s experience is unique. What they have in common is that their gender is beyond the binary. Because non-binary people don’t identify strictly as male or female, many consider non-binary identities to fall under the transgender umbrella (since “transgender” broadly includes anyone whose gender differs from the sex they were assigned at birth). That said, some non-binary folks don’t personally label themselves as trans identity terms are personal, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
For someone who is non-binary, being referred to correctly, including using the correct name and pronouns, is essential to feeling seen and respected.
Using someone’s correct pronouns is a small but powerful way to show respect. If you’re new to this, check out our post The Power of Pronouns for guidance on why pronouns matter and how to use them.
Many, but not all, non-binary people use gender-neutral pronouns like they/them. Others use she/her, he/him, a mix like she/they, or neopronouns; it really depends on what feels right to each individual. For example, it’s entirely possible to identify as non-binary and still use she/her or he/him pronouns. One person might say, “I’m non-binary but I use she/her pronouns,” because that’s what feels most comfortable. The key is that non-binary is about who someone is in their gender identity, not about how they dress or behave.
What Does “Gender Nonconforming” Mean?
A gender nonconforming person (often abbreviated as GNC) is someone whose gender expression – their outward appearance, behaviour, or other traits does not fit society’s traditional expectations for the sex or gender they were assigned. In simpler terms, they “don’t conform” to the usual gender norms. Gender nonconformity is about how someone presents themselves to the world, not necessarily about how they identify internally. Broadly, “gender nonconforming” refers to people whose gender expression does not conform to traditional masculine or feminine norms. For instance, if society expects “boys to wear blue and girls to wear pink,” a boy who loves wearing pink dresses would be considered gender nonconforming.
Importantly, anyone can be gender-nonconforming, regardless of their gender identity. Being GNC is not a gender identity itself, but a description of how someone expresses their gender. A person can be cisgender (identifying as the gender they were assigned at birth) and still be gender nonconforming. For example, a cisgender woman who shaves her head and wears men’s suits every day might be seen as gender nonconforming because she’s defying what society stereotypically expects a woman to look like. Similarly, a man who enjoys makeup and fashion considered “feminine” could proudly be a gender-nonconforming man – he’s still a man, but his expression is unconventional within male norms.
Examples of gender nonconforming expression might include:
A boy who loves wearing dresses or playing with dolls (challenging the idea that “boys” should only dress or play a certain way).
A girl who has a buzzcut and wears clothing from the “boys” section.
A man who openly wears eyeliner or nail polish.
A woman who prefers tuxedos and ties over dresses.
As these examples show, gender nonconformity is about breaking or expanding the expectations of how men or women “should” appear or behave. In fact, many people are gender nonconforming in small ways without even realising it – very few of us conform 100% to every gender stereotype all the time. The term gender nonconforming is typically used for people who intentionally or consistently present in a way that subverts gender norms. For some individuals, being GNC is simply a description of their style or self-expression, not a core identity label. Others might proudly embrace “gender nonconforming” as part of their identity because it resonates with them. There’s no single right way to be gender nonconforming – it’s a broad, inclusive term for anyone who doesn’t fit society’s narrow expectations of gendered appearance and behaviour.
You might also hear terms like gender-expansive or gender-diverse used similarly to gender nonconforming. All these terms emphasise that there are many diverse ways to express gender beyond the traditional norms.
Is Gender Nonconforming the Same as Non-Binary?
No, gender nonconforming is not the same as non-binary. They’re related ideas, but they refer to different things. The easiest way to remember the difference is:
Non-Binary = Gender Identity (who you are).
Gender Nonconforming = Gender Expression (how you present yourself).
A non-binary person identifies outside the male-female gender binary. In contrast, a gender nonconforming person presents or behaves in a way that doesn’t align with societal expectations for their gender. Let’s break down the key differences:
Identity vs. Expression: Non-binary is an identity – it’s about one’s internal sense of self. Gender nonconforming is about expression – the external way someone dresses, acts, or looks. A non-binary person states, “My gender is neither exclusively male nor female.” A gender nonconforming person is saying, “I don’t dress/act the way people expect a man or woman to, and that’s okay.” These are different aspects of gender.
Who Can Be Each: Only someone who doesn’t identify strictly as male or female would call themselves non-binary. By contrast, anyone of any gender can potentially be gender nonconforming if they don’t fit gender norms.
For example, a transgender woman who dresses in very traditional feminine clothes might be gender conforming (because her expression aligns with expectations for women). At the same time, a cisgender man with long painted nails and high heels would be gender nonconforming (because his expression breaks the norms for men). Gender nonconforming is about what you do, not what you are on the inside.
Overlap: The terms overlap. Many non-binary people are inherently gender nonconforming by virtue of existing outside binary gender norms. In other words, if society expects people to be either clearly male or clearly female, a non-binary person is automatically subverting that expectation – simply being non-binary can be a form of gender nonconformity.
However, not all non-binary folks choose the term “gender nonconforming” for themselves, and not all gender nonconforming folks are non-binary. Someone can break gender norms and still identify strictly as male or female. For instance, you don’t have to be nonbinary or transgender to be gender nonconforming. A cisgender woman who is a “tomboy” and a trans man who wears makeup are both gender nonconforming, even though their gender identities (woman and man, respectively) are binary. Conversely, a non-binary person might dress in a way that society reads as traditionally male or female – they would still be non-binary, just perhaps not visibly gender nonconforming in that moment. The bottom line: one term is about identity, the other is about expression, and while they can overlap, they aren’t interchangeable.
In summary, non-binary is who you are, and gender nonconforming is how you are. One term refers to an individual’s inner gender identity, and the other describes how an individual presents that gender to the outside world. Understanding this difference helps us avoid assumptions – for example, not every non-binary person will have an androgynous appearance, and not every person who looks androgynous or different is non-binary. Always ask (or respectfully listen) to how someone identifies rather than guessing from how they look. As a rule of thumb: respect what people tell you about their identity, and respect how people choose to express themselves. Both identity and expression are valid and essential pieces of a person’s experience.
Common Questions (FAQ)
Below are some common questions people have when discussing non-binary vs. gender nonconforming. We’ll answer them directly to provide further clarity:
-
No, absolutely not. Being non-binary isn’t about your appearance – there is no one “non-binary look.” You do not have to look androgynous or meet any stereotype to be non-binary.
For example, you can be non-binary and wear dresses, or be non-binary and have a beard; none of that makes your identity any less valid. As we explain in our article, You Don’t Have to ‘Look’ Non-Binary, gender identity ≠ gender expression. A non-binary person might present in a very masculine way, very feminine way, both, or neither – and they are still non-binary.
In a world that often assumes “non-binary” means androgynous, it’s important to remember that non-binary people come in all presentations. Your identity is about who you know yourself to be, not about what clothes you wear.
So no, you don’t have to “look” non-binary (whatever that means!) to be non-binary. You already are, if that’s your identity.
-
Yes, definitely. Gender nonconforming is a term that can apply to anyone who doesn’t fit societal gender norms – including cisgender people. A person can be gender-nonconforming regardless of their gender identity (they could be cisgender, transgender, or non-binary).
For example, a cisgender man who loves wearing bright makeup and skirts on the weekends is gender nonconforming in his expression, but he still identifies as a man. Similarly, a cisgender woman who prefers men’s clothing and a shaved head is gender nonconforming in style, but still a woman. This term describes what someone does, not their gender.
So being gender nonconforming does not automatically mean someone is non-binary or transgender – it just means they don’t strictly follow the conventional “rules” for how men or women are “supposed” to look or act. Many people of all genders break those rules every day! The key is to support and respect them, and not to force people into boxes based on appearance.
-
Not all, no. While they/them is a common gender-neutral pronoun that many non-binary people use (and it’s often a safe guess if you’re not sure), it’s not universal.
Non-binary people use a variety of pronouns. Some use they/them, others use she/her or he/him, and some use neopronouns like ze/hir or xe/xem. Pronouns are a personal choice – each individual chooses what feels affirming and correct for them.
For example, one non-binary person might prefer they/them, another might say “I’m non-binary but I use he/him,” and yet another might use both she and they pronouns. There’s no single “right” pronoun for non-binary people. Always follow the person’s lead on their pronouns. If you’re unsure, it’s okay to politely ask, “What pronouns do you use?” and then respect what they tell you.
For a deeper dive into pronouns and why they matter, see The Power of Pronouns – our guide to using pronouns with respect and care.
-
Absolutely, yes. In fact, many individuals identify with both terms.
If someone is non-binary, they are by definition not adhering to the traditional gender binary, which often means they’re breaking conventional gender norms – in other words, they could be considered gender nonconforming as well.
For example, a person assigned male at birth who comes out as non-binary and starts wearing a mix of “men’s” and “women’s” clothing is living as both non-binary (identity) and gender nonconforming (expression).
However, it’s up to each person whether they resonate with the term GNC. Some non-binary folks proudly embrace being gender nonconforming; others might not focus on that term even though their expression is unique. Conversely, as we mentioned, someone can be gender nonconforming without being non-binary (like a masculine woman or a feminine man). There’s a Venn diagram overlap: many non-binary people are gender nonconforming, but not every non-binary person is visibly gender nonconforming in presentation, and not every gender nonconforming person is non-binary in identity. Each combination is valid.
The key is that everyone deserves respect, no matter their identity or expression.
Identity vs. Expression - Both Deserve Respect
Understanding the difference between non-binary and gender nonconforming can help us create a more inclusive and respectful environment for everyone. Remember, non-binary is who someone is – a valued identity – and gender nonconforming is how someone expresses themselves – a valued form of self-expression. When you meet someone who is one, both, or not sure, the best approach is simple: listen to how they identify and how they talk about themselves, respect what they tell you, use their name and pronouns correctly, and support them in living authentically. Whether someone is non-binary, gender-nonconforming, both, or neither, they deserve to be seen and affirmed for who they are.
We hope this guide has answered your questions clearly and affirmatively. Learning and unlearning take time, and it’s terrific that you’re taking steps to educate yourself. By understanding these terms, you’re becoming a better ally and community member for the LGBTQ+ people in your life.
If you found this helpful, we invite you to subscribe to the Enby Meaning newsletter for inclusive education, lived experience, and joyful queer content delivered to your inbox. We’d love to have you as part of our community – together, let’s keep learning and celebrating gender diversity!
