Living Out Loud: Exploring the Depth of Non-Binary Joy
Queer joy can be loud. It radiates from neon-lit dance floors, crowded marches, and the vibrant laughter of our community. But for many of us navigating a non-binary identity, joy is often found in the quiet, profound moments of simply being.
For me, enby joy is found in the stillness of a morning with my loved ones, the safety of my chosen family, and the freedom of walking through a public space without feeling the need to shrink myself. It’s the realisation that I don't have to translate my existence for others to be valid.
Coming out as non-binary was not a one-time event, and neither is finding happiness. It’s a practice I return to again and again and a deliberate choice to live fully and connect meaningfully. Whether I’m hyping up other enby artists or reclaiming my ancestral traditions, joy is the thread that ties my identity together.
In a world that often tells gender-diverse people they are “too much” or “not enough,” celebrating ourselves becomes a revolutionary act. In this piece, we’ll explore what non-binary joy really looks like, why it matters, and why honouring your euphoria is a radical act of resistance.
What Is Enby Joy, Really?
“You were not just born to center your entire existence on work and labor. You were born to heal, to grow, to be of service to yourself and community, to practice, to experiment, to create, to have space, to dream, and to connect.”
— Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto.
Enby joy isn’t just a fleeting feeling of happiness. It’s not the polished, corporate version of Pride we see on billboards in June. It’s something deeper: gender euphoria—the profound sense of rightness that comes when your outer life finally aligns with your inner truth.
For years, before I had the language for "non-binary," I tried on different versions of myself, hoping one would stick. I lived as a gay man, not because it was an exact fit, but because it felt "close enough" and safer. In those days, my joy came in small, whispered bursts, wearing makeup at night or dancing without apology.
Now, my joy is rooted in wholeness.
It’s the power of saying “I’m non-binary” without feeling the need to explain or translate.
It’s the quiet comfort of sitting in the sun with my cat or cooking a meal with my friends.
It’s the feeling of finally recognising your own reflection after years of uncertainty.
To me, non-binary joy is the freedom to be fully human. It’s not about being palatable or performing for others; it’s about the radical act of being real.
Celebration as Resistance: Why Non-Binary Joy is Political
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
— Audre Lorde, A Burst of Light.
In a world that often centres on the struggles of the trans and non-binary community, joy can feel like a luxury. But the truth is, for us, joy is a form of resistance. It is a refusal to let our stories be defined solely by the obstacles we face.
I’ve felt this revolutionary joy at vigils and protests, standing shoulder to shoulder with people who feel like family. In those moments, despite the grief, the risk, and the systemic pressure, we still find ways to laugh. We dance. We turn chants into anthems. That isn't just surviving; it’s thriving in ways the world doesn't expect of us.
There is something profoundly radical about being happy when the world expects you to disappear. Whether we are:
Gathering for local Pride events,
Performing on stage as our authentic selves,
Or simply existing openly in public spaces...
...that joy pushes back against erasure. It counters every "they/them? Really?" we have ever heard.
I once saw a sign at a march that read: “We are the joyful future.” That stayed with me because it reminds us that joy isn't naïve; it’s defiant. It’s a promise to build a future where gender-diverse people thrive.
Finding Euphoria in Community, Art, and Identity
“The most beautiful part of your body is where it’s headed. & remember, loneliness is still time spent with the world.”
— Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous.
Enby joy lives in the "in-between", the spaces where our identities, cultures, and creative passions intersect. I’ve found that when we stop trying to fit into boxes, we find the most vibrant versions of ourselves.
The Power of Queer Community
Community is where joy becomes expansive. It’s in the chosen-family dinner parties, the support for local enby artists, and the digital spaces we build at Enby Meaning™. These connections remind us that being non-binary isn't a solitary journey; it’s a shared history.
Archiving Joy Through Art
As a filmmaker and photographer, art has always been my lifeline. There is something sacred about non-binary representation that goes beyond just "visibility." By documenting ourselves not just in struggle but in celebration, we create a roadmap for others. Whether it’s editing a film or capturing the energy of a queer bar in Bangkok, storytelling allows us to archive our own happiness.
Reclaiming Rituals and Culture
Joy also lives in the body and the roots. For me, it looks like:
Using pronouns that reflect my internal truth.
Reclaiming cultural traditions for me that others have said are incompatible with queerness
These intersections of art, heritage, and gender are where my joy thrives. When we bring our whole selves to our culture and our craft, we aren't just taking up space; we are decorating it.
Protecting Enby Joy in a Digital and Capitalist Age
“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance.”
— Bell Hooks
In a world where queer aesthetics are mined for marketing and “visibility” is often used as a code word for exploitation, protecting our joy is a vital skill. Every Pride month, our symbols are co-opted by brands that ignore us the rest of the year. Algorithms flatten our nuance, and platforms sometimes censor our language.
But enby joy was never meant for performance. It is about presence.
Navigating Burnout as a Queer Creator
I’ve felt the tension of existing in a digital world. Our joy is often sold back to us in rainbow packaging without our consent. To keep our community space sacred, we have to ask: Who is this serving? What are we refusing?
In an age of doomscrolling, choosing privacy is powerful. Choosing slowness is revolutionary. Our joy owes no one visibility; it belongs to us.
A Note to Our Future Selves: Choose Joy Every Day
To my younger self: enby joy once felt like a distant dream, something meant for someone else, or something you had to earn through struggle. But as I’ve grown into my non-binary identity, I’ve learned that joy isn’t a reward; it is a fundamental right.
Today, I understand that our happiness can be quiet, messy, and complicated. It is a protest song, a prayer, and a promise. Queer joy is the fuel that keeps us going and the light that brings us home.
Building a Joyful Future
I am committed to building a future that goes beyond mere survival. We need stories where we are:
Whole and loved
Free and expressive
Radically joyful
We are living through trying times, but we are also the fulfilment of the generations who came before us. They didn't just survive so that we could inherit their trauma; they carved out space so that we could finally thrive. Our joy is the greatest honour we can give to their sacrifice.
So, wherever you are on your non-binary journey, know this: Your joy matters. It isn’t frivolous or selfish—it is the very soul of your story. Let’s choose joy for ourselves, for each other, and for the future generations who will follow in our footsteps.
“Joy is an act of resistance.”
— Tori Derricotte
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